The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Advantage of being an introvert

It is easy to dwell on the down side of being an introvert. People generally do not like introverts for many reasons. They are more self absorbed and is no as generous in their emotions/time, they seem more logical than emotional, they are distant, they seem to have another world in them, they are socially less experienced, etc etc.

I do not blame that society promotes extraverts over introverts, because it simply make more sense, if not only superficially. I personally am an introvert, from a young age, I would treasure the pleasentness of being quiet over crowds of people. Quickly, I found that reading books, listening to stories and indulging in my imagination to be enjoyable past times.

As I grew older, the distance between the "external world" and the "internal world" also grew. I began to take adventure into the deeper parts of my mind - It was wonderful, you discover all kinds of things about yourself, the world and occationally, if I meet someone who can share that part of their world with me, it is an adventure into another dimension or parallel universe. That would be all I cared for - partly because of financial difficulties, lack of time, and partly because of the value I put into thoughts. Very quickly, my way of relating to people became deep. I do not settle for anything less than a DNM (Deep and Meaningful). I wasn't able to be light hearted, I was to heavy and I wondered why people didn't like that.

For years after years, I resented that. Why was I not born an extravert. All the benefits of it, though it seem fleeting and not genuine, people seems happy and those who are extraverted go through live much easier, faster, and would tell you that you should live a life like that too. For the longest time, I wish I can be like them.

Eventually, due to circumstances, this thing call responsibility kicks in and it didn't take long to realise that holding onto the introverted nature can do lots of harm and that the ways of an extravert must be adopted. I was never social. It took me 5 painful years to adapt to that way of life and I was barely competent. I've been through it all, been called names, gotten into fights, being ditched by girls, ostracised, fired, you name it. It was not pleasent. It was not natural. If it seems natural now, that is because I've learnt how to make it natural. It is such a protective shell around me that people can no longer see the "real" me. But what is real anyway? Fearing disappointment, I couldn't even be bothered trying to relate with the introvert within. This became problematic as you can never suppress yourself. It comes out in various insecurities when interacting with people, especially with love ones, and soon, it spirals down very quickly.

Fortunately, it was the awful tasting medicine that I needed. I could have remained a socially inept, inexperienced geek. I could have sold my soul to the opposite side and be complacent with not being yourself. Or I could have been so stubborn minded that I could not see the benefits and problems attached of both sides of the spectrum. Having tasted enough of that shight, I snapped out of it. I began to be myself and be surrounded with people like myself.

Today, I can see the benefits of being a natural introverty trying to be an extravert. You get the best of both worlds. Because being social is not natural to us, we have learnt ways of creating the effect of it at will, by experience, skills and knowledge. To a certain degree, I believe that it is easier for introverts to understand extraverts. This is because we all know the benefits of being an extravert but introverts are introverts BY CHOICE! We choose being an introvert because it is the lesser of the two evils. At least for me, I know facade of social dynamics, the fraility of emotions and the dramatisation of petty reactions. We chose to live in a more sane world. As for extraverts, they cannot be by themselves because solitude gives them time to submerge themselves in their own insecurities, their problems. It is hard to deal with, and even introverts need to learn how to deal with that over time.

Recently, I noticed the increasing popularity of "geeks", which are generally introverts. I like it, young people respect thoughts more than emotions. I like the whole idea of the generation Y. People can relate with each other in a more intellectual and genuine level. People treasure passion, dreams ideals and excellence over "survival" and the mundane. I believe that the future is built for us. I believe that it was damn lucky that we are introverts and intellectuals. I mean, look at us, we intellectualise being and extraverts and use their power to our advantage! STICK IT TO THE MAN~


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