The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Monday, July 17, 2006

Fabio's super dooper opening trio!

It is a way for me to open up strangers. It works quite well and is completely non-verbal, so you don't have to worry about what to say as an opener:

Eye contact - Smile - Wave

First, I noticed that EC is a pretty good way of capturing others - you halt them momentarily. But it is not enough to open them. I would give up and carry on with my life. Then, I realise that during that halt from an EC, you can smile at them and you will usually get a very warm reciprocating smile. But then, it was still a bit weird to do anything. Then, I've found the magic link. That is the wave. After EC and a smile, you wave at them! Often, a good EC will make a smile natural, and a smile will make the wave natural, what is natural after you have wave at a person? You go talk to them.

Its like, stage 1 - EC is a light commitment, then at stage 2, the smile is an extra level of commitment, but not quite enough commitment for an interaction. Then, if she wave at you there is so much commitment from her that is would be awkward to not talk to you. Essentially, you've managed to get a complete stranger to mirror a series of your actions - It works similar to the "yes laddar" - She is now more likly to simply mirror everything you do, so if you have a good vibe, she will be mirroring, if you are attracted to her, she will mirror it.

Then you land the killer blow: You following up with a "Hello~" to finish her off. (I always thought it as a kind of close). It is important to mention here that you cannot look away, you stack the smile on top of your EC, and then, your wave on top of that. It might take 3-8 seconds and you have to be fully committed.

At this point, rapport and comfort is fully established, it is completely natural and there is nothing strange or awkward about it. There is no need for "openers" nor fluff. The best thing about this is that you define an interaction that both of you are sarging each other, both of you are committed and are putting in effort.

You have many options here:
You can fractionate, bringing her back to her reality and put her back into trance;

You can decide that you'd just make friend and say "I am Fabio by the way" (this will surely put you back into friend mode);

If you havn't told her your name, you can then snob her all of a sudden (a pull) "Yeah~ it was nice meeting you (silent to build suspense), I'll talk to you later" (you will surely get her to ask you what your name is), etc etc....

IMHO. This is way better than the universal opener. The hi can usually capture their attention but it is hard to follow up. The natural thing is to introduce yourself, but it get corny very quickly. The universal opener is also shit for girls in groups because a girl is usually reframed from interaction with some strange guy in front of her friends. You might get EC, smile or even a hi back, but that would be it. As much as the "hi" hold suspense and get attention, it also give the girl some time to think "oh, here we go, whats this guy up to?" and you essentially set yourself up to perform. It is also a big transition, from nothing to a "hi" is a big gap to bridge.


  • At 10:37 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    A good way to avoid the nasty dial tone midway through your introduction is to ask them questions which they will answer "YES" to. This is known in marketing as establishing a YES Ladder. The theory is when prospects become so used to saying yes to you, when you eventually close on them to make a sale they have been put in such a positive mind frame and use to answering YES to the sale. Another good benefit of a YES ladder is to provide you with a chance to screen your prospects and identify the dead leads and get feedback.

    So after you've done your introduction here's an example how your conversation should develop. Lets say we're trying to sell some developer training:

    Question 1: Jane, have you considered any extra IT training since starting your job? (those that answer no, you're not likely to be targeting)

    Prospect: Yes

    Question 2: So you'd be interested in increasing your technical programming skills then?

    Prospect: Yes

    Question 3: Great! We're holding unique hands-on developer training sessions which may benefit you greatly. Is this of interest?

    Prospect: OOH YES!

    After the prospect has said yes to you three times it's going to be hard for them to decline when you ask them if they would like to find out some more information thus making it hard for them to give you an excuse to get off the phone.

    This is similar to one of the techniques from Dale Carnegie's How to win friends and influence people.


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