The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Knowing someone

Last friday, I was talking to Sonita. At some point, we talked about people not knowing each other. Realising that she doesn't know me, I throw out a challenge at her to see what reaction I get. To my surprise, I've got an interesting response: She said "I know you enough". At first, it came as a shock - How arrogant! She think she can see through me? She knows NOTHING about me! But then, she said "I know enough to like you." Then, I thought, man, she's manipulative. But it all fit together...

What do we really know about someone? What is it that we really need to know before we decide whether we like them or not?

The answer is -- Not much.

There is knowing someone's history, his little habits, etc. Then, there is knowing someone's attitude, his vibe. It takes only a few moments before you know whether you can hang out with this person or not. If not, then experience tell you to give them another chance, a benefit of the doubt. I believe that girls are not going to be appealed by your details like jobs, hobbies, your life history, etc. They are NOT your personality. They are NOT you. They are just things that happened to your life.

It doesn't take much at all, which brings me back to the idea of "questions". Well, why are we asking people questions? We want to find out about them? But by doing what? how? By asking them: what they do for work? Where have they travelled to? What kind of music do they like? Or are we just trying to keep the conversations going and you don't know what else to say? What is the point of questions?

Many girls find things out about guys by testing them, not asking questions. They want to know how you react to them, how you react to their tests, situations, your friends, etc. Anyone can say anything - your history, things you do, your hobbies are all details, anything can happen to anyone, it is not a representation of who you are. I think that girls are right, they find out a lot more about you by the way you behave, the way you see things. So, remember this when you sarge. How do you bring your personality across? Rememebr what you are trying to achieve here. Bring out your personality, not just "things". You need to really find out what you can offer in this sense. Stop obsessing over cloths, money, status etc. Those things help bring confident, composure, charm etc. But they are not the things girls are looking for, attracted to. They are deceiving. It is the qualities about your personality that matters.

It is probably true for us as well, find out what the girls are like by testing them, studying their reactions. It is more informative this way. It is more engaging and entertaininig. Girls get a rise out of it. Questions are boring and uninformative. Ditch it. It was like a bolt of lightning when I understood this - an epiphany. I makes everything very clear.

At the end of the conversation with Sonita. I revealed some of my secrets to her. I said: "You know, the way I communicate with others is almost like subliminal messages." She gestured for elaboration. "Well, you don't tell others you are cool and exceptional by telling others that you are cool and exceptional. You use actions to demonstrate that you are."

She got really excited and told me this: "Oh oh, you know what I did last year? I told myself, I am going to be good, happy and healthy". See? Girls are aware of these things. They communicate on this level. Other things are irrelavent mostly. They know that these things cannot be asked. And you don't need much factual information to form an opinion of someone


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