The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Friday, July 28, 2006

My attitude towards picking up

I've heard of two words angry women used to describe men who pick up women. They are "predatory" and "opportunist", both were used to describe feeding patterns in biology, both were used to describe how men are just like animals. Now this post is not a discussion about whether that is true or not, nor even about whether it is good to be an animal or a human...

This post is about how this attitude reflects the reaction of women towards men in general, and most women are fearful of men because of that. Their reality is that men are either predatory or opportunitists, women are the victims, men's prey. Like many others, I just take that in as a reality and it is frustrating because I don't want to be seen as being either a predator, or some maggot churning over anything that comes through our way - yet I still like women heaps!

After months of reflecting on my attitudes and my beliefs, I came to an understand that we live in a world where men have been demonised. So much so that even men believe that we are demons ourselves. Today, i figured out one thing. I figured out how much of myself have been molded, shaped, and caged in, how much women, and society have been molded, shaped and bondaged in a certain way.

I would like to be free. I'd like to know who I really am and what do I really want to take and give in return to this world.

A very good friend of mine asked me "what kind of girl do you like?" I really didn't know. It is better now but I still don't know. One thing that really stuck in my mind was a quote from Being John Malkovich:
    Maxine: Here's the thing: If you ever get me, you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me.
What I know for certain is that I respect women, I like women, not to exploit women. I hate anyone exploiting anyone and the last thing I want is to do that. However, it hurts me again and again when I am treated that way. I find myself shying away from picking up women simply because I'd hate to believe that I am exploiting others. However, I do want women, I like women, from an instinctive level, from a gut level. - I know I do. A beautiful woman is like a beautiful sunset, you can't help but look at it. A force of nature so overwhelming that you loose your sense of existence in front of her. You loose your sense of time. You are so compelled to do things that you are doing it before you consciously know it. That is when you feel alive. That is when you click.

And I like that feeling. That is what I want. It is a wrong attitude to equate the love of women as a sin, as something lower, something men try to get out of women. Just like a sunset, it does not live for more than 30 minutes, but it exists in our heart and the appreciation of it is undeniably truthful and eternal. Fuck picking up, fuck scoring, fuck relationships, fuck everything. My appreciation for beautiful women is instantaneous and only lives for as long as it last. Yet it is genuine, it is truthful, there no ulterior motives, no reasons. It was sort of described by a quote in Adaptation:
    John Laroche: Point is, what's so wonderful is that every one of these flowers has a specific relationship with the insect that pollinates it. There's a certain orchid look exactly like a certain insect so the insect is drawn to this flower, its double, its soul mate, and wants nothing more than to make love to it. And after the insect flies off, spots another soul-mate flower and makes love to it, thus pollinating it. And neither the flower nor the insect will ever understand the significance of their lovemaking. I mean, how could they know that because of their little dance the world lives? But it does. By simply doing what they're designed to do, something large and magnificent happens. In this sense they show us how to live - how the only barometer you have is your heart. How, when you spot your flower, you can't let anything get in your way. "
WOW! Two Charlie Kaufman quotes! I impress myself... teehee. Anyway, my point is - Does it really matter whether there is an explicit outcome or not? does it really matter whther there should be a reason for us to do things at all? Does it have to be sex, does it have to be validation, does it have to be pride, egotism, abuse?

NO! I'd rather having it purely as it is and not question it anymore. That would be the attitude I want! I want to have positive interactions, wether it is platonic, or sexual. I don't want to be held down by dogma or outcome. That is for chumps! When I want to interact with someone, as long as it is ethical and not in other's way, there is no reason to feel bad about it. Be proud of your feelings, do not be ashamed or embarrassed. If someone is held down by dogma, it is them! As Juggler said: "be prepared to be misunderstood".


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