I, PUA

The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Sunday, July 09, 2006

So Sauve articles


SoSauve always surprise me by publishing some exceptionally insightful articles. Here are some that is very inspiring:

Why Very Intelligent Men Fail with Women by David DeAngelo. Extremely insightful and informative. I can totally relate to it and I do believe that many MANY men, intelligent men have the exact problems.
    "NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK.

    Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.

    So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?

    EXACTLY!

    They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.

    I'm shaking my head right now...

    Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that's where THEY feel comfortable... not knowing that they're SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!"
Why Women Test Men by Marlimus. I've read something like this before but I never really understood it. The importance of this is slowly being dawn on me. Especially during the dating period. Initially, I resisted it, thinking women's tests are bullshit and I resented it. Now I understand where it is cominig from and embrace it. In fact, I might go as far as to suggest men doing the same too. Not so much for vengence, but you do get a lot out of it.

The Mechanics of Kinoby Rollo Tomassi. This has got to be one of the most useful post I've ever read. Kino has to be done strategically. It is the steps you NEED to take to get from the emotional to the physical. There IS a gap there and you do need to bridge it. I really like this bit:
    "I'm sure you've encountered the 'touchy-feely' kind of people? Try to remember what it was about them that made them remarkable. Did they make you more comfortable or less comfortable in their presence?

    In some instances I'm sure you could call Kino 'groping', but this is when the line between subtle Kino and intimate Kino has been crossed. Likewise the touchy-feely person betrays a neediness for this contact, most certainly as a result of deprivation."
Radical Honesty by Swinggcat. This article eloquently put my semi-formed idea down on paper (or on magnetic drives). This is FUNDAMENTAL to capturing the interest of a woman. You need to recognise when a woman is seducing you and not submit to it. A real man can see that and deflect that back to them. Its paradoxical, but it is so true. It happens to me time and time again - A woman's barrier is weakest when they are sarging you. Instead of indulging on your bloated ego, strike them there.

Two Secrets to Attracting Women by David DeAngelo. David D's two step forward, one step backward is well known. The "never let the line go slack" idea is new to me, and, profound.
    "Imagine that you are holding one end of a rope, and the woman is holding the other end. Both of you are pulling gently... enough to keep tension in the line.

    It's a little game.

    If she starts pulling, you need to give her a little bit of slack... but not so much that she gets it all. And if she starts letting go, you need to pull a little more to take up the slack and keep the tension up.

    This is a great metaphor for the concept of sexual tension.

    Most men haven't the slightest idea in the world what sexual tension is. But all women do."

5 Comments:

  • At 7:27 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    Why Very Intelligent Men Fail with Women

    by David DeAngelo


    The Ten Reasons Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT
    Men Fail With Women... AND WHAT TO DO
    ABOUT IT...


    I've been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for several years now... and one "problem scenario" just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER and OVER and OVER again...

    ...and it really amazes me.

    I'm going to refer to it as "The Genius Failure Paradox".

    "The Genius Failure Paradox" is the tendency for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very LOW levels of success with women and dating.

    After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it for an awesome amount of time, I'd like to share my thoughts about it with you.

    I assume that if you've read this far, then you see probably yourself as smarter than the average guy.

    You know that you're a little different than other guys.

    You probably realized at a young age that you saw things differently, and thought differently than others in school...

    And you've probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many areas of life...

    Your smart mind gives you a particular type of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life: YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.

    Smart people get used to being "right", because they usually ARE right.

    And when you're RIGHT more often than others, you can get ahead in many situations.

    But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours can actually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to a key area of life:

    WOMEN AND DATING.

    By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.

    It can actually be like having a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for the job, you'll most likely make the situation WORSE.

    Of course, it's hard for a smart guy to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his chances for success...

    But trust me, this is one of those situations.

    So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with women... and what to do about it.


    Reason #1: They're wrong, but they can't or won't see it or admit it.

    I mentioned that smart guys are used to being RIGHT in most situations.

    And what do most smart guys do when they come across a situation where they're WRONG?

    They find a new situation... one that fits their strength. They know they'll be right next time, so they just walk away... knowing that it won't be long before they're right again.

    (OR they let the "problem situation" destroy them... more on that later.)

    Well, the BITCH about being wrong when it comes to women and dating is THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN AND HIDE.

    There's no quick "I'm right" around the next corner to make you feel better.

    It only takes "failing" with a few women in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern... and realize that something isn't working.

    Solution? Think harder.

    A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be good... so he just keeps thinking harder.

    But when no success comes, it really starts to become mentally difficult.

    Accepting that you're wrong is a VERY hard thing for a "smart guy".

    Accepting that you're not only wrong, but you have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even more difficult.

    Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion:

    I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.

    Try that on for a self-defeating idea.


    Reason #2: They're blind and arrogant.

    In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a good, solid, workable answer could come from someone "dumber" than them, so they discount any idea that comes from an "obviously less intelligent person" before trying it.

    Let me ask you a question:

    If you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a caveman who lived a million years ago that had an I.Q. of about 50... but who grew up being chased by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?

    It's an interesting question.

    Now, hopefully you'd like to have the guide who isn't the smartest guy around... but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly animals...

    But now let me ask you:

    If you'd like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn't very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?

    There's something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn't either as smart or smarter than them.

    Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this particular approach... once it's examined closely.

    If you've been making this mistake, then you need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes.

    Look around.

    Learn from some "dumb" guys... and let them teach you how to get what you REALLY want.


    Reason #3: Poor Social Skills.

    It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet that just don't GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.

    It's as if they have logically reasoned that social skills are for lower beings who need to play games... and not worth the time it would take to learn them.

    In fact, I believe that there are a lot of smart guys running around this planet who don't even have "social skills" and "be a cool guy that people like" in their "MENTAL MODEL" of what it could possibly take to be successful with women and dating.

    Social skills are just that... SKILLS.

    They're not social INFORMATION.

    They're not social THEORIES.

    They're social SKILLS.

    And you don't get them by THINKING about them. You get them by GETTING them.

    Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans... and if you don't have good social skills, you dramatically lower your chances for success with women.


    Reason #4: They psych themselves out.

    Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell out of me...

    They come up with all the reasons why everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and dating.

    They actually figure out why what they would like to do will probably fail...

    They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those imaginary outcomes to create negative emotions... which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.

    THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.

    Now, if you've thought something through and come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?

    I mean, why would you want to do things that are going to fail?

    It's sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when it comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with women.

    Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and they don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with bad figures. They're wrong before they even start figuring!

    Using your mind to come up with all the reasons why things won't work in this area of your life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.

    You must learn to overcome this habit if you have it.


    Reason #5: They seek only "informational solutions."

    What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem... or he needs to figure something out?

    He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the problem.

    MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.

    Information is the friend of a smart guy.

    Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the internet and search for how to eliminate it.

    Don't know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page 147.

    Don't know the definition of a word? Open up your dictionary.

    MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.

    So what do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with women?

    They want MORE INFORMATION.

    They think the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magic concept.

    Well what if there were a situation in life where the "get more information" strategy actually made things WORSE?

    How would you even know that it was making things worse?

    Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It's not.

    But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it probably isn't going to help you very much.

    You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!

    You need to look at the REAL problem... the ROOT of the problem.

    When it comes to women and dating, there's a very good chance that you have MORE than enough "information".

    Smart guys often use "more information" to distract them from TAKING ACTION.

    I've heard this referred to as "Creative Avoidance".

    Nod silently if you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life.

    Good, thank you.


    Reason #6: They focus on logic instead of emotion.

    NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK.

    Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.

    So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?

    EXACTLY!

    They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.

    I'm shaking my head right now...

    Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that's where THEY feel comfortable... not knowing that they're SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!

    Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging her in logical conversation.

    When you start a logical conversation with a woman you've just met, you are basically taking out a NEON SIGN that says "I don't get it when it comes to women" and putting it on your head.

    Typical "logical" conversations include talking about work, family, school, and jobs... discussing politics, religion, weather... and anything that has to do with math, science, or INTELLIGENCE.

    On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you say "OK, so tell me something... Why is it that all women say that they want sweet, nice guys... but they all date sexy, selfish bad boys?" (and then make fun of any answer she gives) you're having an EMOTIONAL conversation.

    If you don't know what I'm talking about, keep reading. You need more help than I thought.


    Reason #7: They're not used to the challenge of the moment.

    Smart people usually have time to THINK about things.

    If you're taking a test, you can sit there and work out the answers.

    If you have a math problem, you can work on it until you've figured it out.

    If you're trying to fix something, you can keep working on it until it's fixed.

    Smart guys are used to being able to take at least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show off their "good sides" in most situations.

    Not so with women...

    If you don't know what to do at every step along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.

    Women have an AMAZING "He doesn't get it" radar system.

    Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the "get its" from the "don't get its".

    And if you don't get it, then you're going to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.

    But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW that you were being tested... OR that you failed.

    Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment... and especially the "women and dating" kind.

    One of they keys to becoming more successful with women and dating is learning to handle all of the tests that women throw at you effortlessly.

    But before you can learn how to deal with the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you have fundamental social skills, and how to keep your cool in the moment.


    Reason #8: They think that doing "nice" things is the "smart way."

    OK, let me ask you a trick question:

    If I told you that you were going to have a date with the supermodel of your choice, which of the following would you choose as a "smart" way of preparing:

    1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are, and show up with a dozen of them so she would be "wowed".

    2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could discuss it with her.

    3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so you could take her to dinner... and she could see that you cared enough to choose something that she enjoyed.

    OK, time's up. Which did you choose?

    Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK question.

    The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.

    But WHY?

    These three options all seemed logical, right?

    I mean, why WOULDN'T you want to show up with her favorite flowers?

    Why WOULDN'T you want to talk about her favorite places to travel?

    Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?

    Go with me here...

    Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER when they do things like buying a woman her favorite flowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.

    Right?

    In their minds, they're thinking "I'm going to be the guy who is thinking ahead... and I'm going to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she loves... and she's going to see them and like me more because of it".

    Makes sense... good math, right?

    Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these "smart" guys make is not realizing that it doesn't actually take a smart person to think like this!

    In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman's ass.

    And guess what?

    WOMEN KNOW THIS!

    And guess what else?

    EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.

    An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will think he's being such the charmer by using this "thoughtful" approach...

    ...and the woman he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who's trying to MANIPULATE her.

    Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.


    Reason #9: Always needing to be the expert.

    Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed to be "right"?

    Have you ever met someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they just couldn't shut their "smart mouths"?

    Over the last few years helping guys improve their success with women, I see this one pattern over and over again...

    Smart guys don't like to be "beginners" at ANYTHING.

    They don't like the idea of screwing up... especially if others are watching.

    They want to maintain this "smart guy" image of themselves... so they try to always be "The Expert" at whatever they do.

    Instead of saying "Hey, you know what? I'm a beginner at this... how do I do it? What should I do first? What next?"... and instead of being totally OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to LEARN...

    ...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking that they're beginners... so they wind up ultimately FAILING.

    MORE NEWS JUST IN: It's OK to be a beginner.


    Reason #10: They can't deal with fear and other emotions.

    A smart guy's STRENGTH is his MIND.

    His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.

    Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.

    Totally stopped.

    FROZEN.

    And since many smart guys aren't comfortable dealing with things they're not good at, they just repress or RUN away from fear.

    Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation than admit that they don't know how to deal with their emotions... or, GOD FORBID, ask for help!

    Hey, I went for YEARS like this.

    I know what it's like.

    But the reality is that any guy can learn to handle and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)... if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.

    If this is you, then do yourself a big favor... take the time. Take the effort.

    Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you... it doesn't matter.

    What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.

    ...I think the reason why I'm so fascinated with "The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I have had to struggle with all of these issues for a lot of years of my life.

    Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on the planet...

    But I don't think mamma raised no fool.

    And it always bothered the hell out of me that even though I was so good at figuring things out, I couldn't figure WOMEN out.

    Something tells me that you know what I'm talking about.

    Well, after beating my head against the wall for a few years... trying all kinds of crazy "logical" stuff... I finally got the "bright" idea to start studying guys who were "naturally" good with women.

    Of course, I found out that you could be both NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at the same time.

    I also learned that you can be SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.

    By carefully studying what the "naturals" did with women... and learning how they "thought" about the topic, I began to realize that success with women wasn't entirely LOGICAL.

    Much of what I learned was very tough for me to accept... because my logical brain just didn't want to buy into it.

    One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them... and having the women then chase them in response.

    Made no sense at all.

    I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces... and then watched those women become "little girls" in response... unable to maintain their composure, and therefore unable to maintain their manipulative power...

    It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was learning until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation... get any woman's number I wanted anytime I wanted... date any type of woman I wanted...

    ...and most importantly, GET RID of that "empty" feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn't know how to attract women.

    And once I got this area of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this area of THEIR lives together.

    The ultimate result of all this time, effort, and energy is my free Dating Tips Newsletter.

    And I'd like to invite you to sign up.

    It's free, there's no obligation, I'll never share your email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).

    Of course, it even gets better than that...

    In addition to my free Dating Tips newsletter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook that you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.

    It's JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly and easily.

     
  • At 7:28 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    Why Women Test Men

    by Marlimus


    Most women, especially beautiful women who are accustomed to being approached all the time, devise ways to try to "tell things" about men by observing certain aspects of their behavior, or by telling them things and judging them according to how they react. In short, women 'test' men, especially ones who they feel some attraction to, sometimes knowingly, sometimes not.

    But why?

    The reasons are as follows:

    1) Defense Mechanism

    Women do not like to be taken for granted. Do you know what is the single most common piece of advice that women give each other?

    "Don't make yourself too available."

    If all the tests and games that women play could be represented as a pyramid, with each level depending on the one below it, (something like Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs) then this phrase would form the base of the pyramid. Most female tricks rest on this fundamental principle.

    One of the greatest fears that a woman has is that she will give her heart to a man too easily, and that he will take her for granted and break her heart. Women confuse men, feign disinterest and act evasive at times in order to try to communicate to men that they cannot be taken for granted. In case you did not know, women absolutely hate to be taken for granted. If you remember anything from this article, remember that.


    2) Screening Process

    As any good article will tell you, women are attracted to men who are a challenge and are disinterested in men who they think like them too much, or who are needy.

    Women who can afford to be very selective are attracted to men whose attention they cannot take for granted. This makes a man different than the rest of her hapless admirers who flatter her incessantly.

    Women sometimes test men to find out what category a man fits in. If a woman cancels on a man, and she likes him, she may tell him that she is very sorry and that she will call him and make it up to him. Then, instead of calling, she sits back and waits to see what he will do.

    If he calls within three days to either set up another date or to ask why she didn't call, or if he calls at all within three days for any reason, he has failed. If he calls after three days, he has barely passed, it is up to her discretion. If he simply refuses to call until she contacts him, then he has aced the test with flying colors.

    The idea is that the needy guy is insecure and needs assurance, so he calls too soon. The average guy calls after three days, he's neither here nor there. The real man doesn't call until he hears from her because he is patient, secure, has his own life, and knows that the ball is in her court.


    3) Ego Inflation

    Some women are addicted to attention, the most addictive kind being the male, flattering variety. This is where a woman plays head games with a man in order to keep him chasing after her to boost her ego.

    Nearly all women know the age-old trick of changing the amounts of attention that a man is given, it is literally the oldest in the book. What she will do, basically, is pretend she likes a guy only as a friend one minute, then the next, flirt with him. Or, she will give a guy a friendly, flirty greeting one day, then give him a slight nod the next. This drives the average guy crazy, causing him to chase her.

    When a woman acts friendly, then cool, the guy thinks that he might be losing her, so he tries to reel her in by being extra nice, and paying more attention to her. This is how the attention junkie gets her fix. It does not mean that she is a bitch. This is just how some women are, and it is the man's responsibility to not fall into this trap.


    THE ABANDONMENT COMPLEX

    Be extremely careful when dealing with a woman who grew up in a family where the father walked out at a tender age.

    At an early age, the father, the dominant male figure in the house, is symbolic of his gender. Abandonment creates issues of guilt in the child, and does a number on the girl's ability to trust men and her unconscious opinion of men on the whole.

    If the mother shields the girl from the full impact of the blow by not being bitter and by being careful not to tarnish the father image, or if the girl simply gets over it, then so be it. However, if the mother became bitter, then that bitterness tends to pass on to the daughter.

    The daughter, in turn, later goes on to test men rigorously, trying to make them jump through burning hoops before she lets down her guard, because at a young age, her trust in men was shaken.

    However, she is not necessarily attracted to the men who put up with her bullshit and stick to her even though she blows hot one minute, and cold air he next. Women who have this problem have serious baggage, and you have to decide if she is worth it.

    If you decide that she is, you have to walk a tightrope. Your behavior should subtly convey that you will not hurt her, but do not jump through her hoops. Never be more than 5 minutes late for a date, and if you say you will call at a certain time, call at exactly that time. But if she is late do not wait for her, and when she is acting coldly, do not tolerate her mood swings.

    In other words, you have to still be a challenge, but be trustworthy. It is a delicate balance, and few can master it. Gentlemen, this is from personal experience with such women. When you are talking to a girl and she tells you that her father walked out when she was little, proceed with extreme caution.

    Marlimus

     
  • At 7:28 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    The Mechanics of Kino

    by Rollo Tomassi


    Human beings require touch and physical affection to bolster praise and self-affirmation.

    Children need this in great amounts when in their infancy and I'd argue into their teenage years as well. Baby's need contact with their mothers and all OB/GYN natal caregivers are instructed to pick up and cuddle newborns since this human contact is essential in triggering hormonal and immunal bio-chemical changes that benefit the survival of the organism.

    All mammals to some degree employ this physical connection to one another and so do we. A pat on the back, a hug from a parent, an embrace between lovers, or even sick or elderly people petting a dog or cat -- goes a long way for stimulating not only the sympathetic nerve and immune systems, but also the psycho-biological feelings of well-being that come from the endorphins that accompany the stimulus.

    That's the nuts and bolts of Kino. Your touch is a stimulus, but it's how that stimulus is interpreted that makes or breaks how it's employed.

    CASUAL KINO is something we all do to a greater or lesser degree unconsciously.

    The act of petting a dog is Casual Kino. Once your subconscious (and sometimes conscious) has determined whether an animal is friendly, the natural unconscious impulse is to pet it. Why do we do this instead of just going on about our business?

    The latent reason is because we want to gain its favor (some would say to 'tame' it), but we also experience physical pleasure from that simple act of stroking a cat, petting a dog, etc.

    This same Casual Kino holds true for people as well. This type of Kino isn't meant as intimate contact so much as subtle reassurance of acceptability by that person.

    There are also cultural and conditional rules that make Kino more or less acceptable. Dutch men and women for instance greet women with three kisses on alternating cheeks and in other cultures certain acceptability of subtle gestures of Kino are expected. Unfortunately modern westernized American culture is probably the most uptight in this regard.

    Also, while contact between unrelated males is usually limited to a handshake or a pat on the back, the older an individual is the more acceptable it becomes to be more affectionate with them -- as if there is an unconscious understanding in humans that the older an individual is the more affection that person needs to stimulate these health benefiting responses.

    I'm sure you've encountered the 'touchy-feely' kind of people? Try to remember what it was about them that made them remarkable. Did they make you more comfortable or less comfortable in their presence?

    In some instances I'm sure you could call Kino 'groping', but this is when the line between subtle Kino and intimate Kino has been crossed. Likewise the touchy-feely person betrays a neediness for this contact, most certainly as a result of deprivation.

    The trick to effective Kino is to make the contact seem casual and subtle without crossing into betraying intent of intimacy seeking or to present the appearance of 'needing' the contact.

    For instance, we may consider a slight squeeze back from a woman whose hand you've just grasped an indicator of interest, but this connotes something different than the woman who grasps your inner thigh while sitting down for drinks or dinner. The same holds true for men in the opposite role of delivering a message with touch, only it is much more exaggerated.

    Bear in mind that women are far more adept at interpersonal communications than men are aware of. They covertly communicate with innuendo, subtle and carefully chosen words, visual and non-verbal communications to be sure (i.e. dirty looks) and, of course, touch. They will understand a male's intent when he is unaware that he is even communicating it to her -- and nothing belies this intent better than carelessly applied Kino.

    Casual Kino is easy to understand, but STRATEGIC KINO is an art.

    Recall that physical touch engenders bio-chemical changes in a person -- this is the basis of Strategic Kino. In this Kino we establish a reward-reinforcer relationship with our target.

    This principle is rooted in behavioral and child psychology -- we reward children with praise and affection for a desired behavior, but remove it when an undesired behavior is performed. This is effective because of an actual physical need for this contact.

    It should also be emphasized that this Kino is only ever effective after a dominance / affirmation seeking relationship is established. Using effective neg hits, proving value and making your target see you as the PRIZE is essential, and no amount of Kino will alter this.

    Strategic Kino is just one tool in a DJ's tool box and using Kino prior to setting yourself up as the objective for her will in all likelihood turn her off to you.

    That said, the principle of Strategic Kino is to reward your target with touch for appropriate responses and punish her with responses that are undesired while in conversation. Your target should be isolated to ensure there is no external interference.

    This Kino is akin to shutting your target out in the initial stages of opening to a group by keeping your back to her and only recognizing her when she becomes insistent. Your touch becomes comforting to her and you establish a baseline for this sense of comfort.

    Remember, there is a bio-chemical element to touch, so on a subtle level her body becomes accustomed to this. When it is removed (and you've made this touch valuable), she will covertly understand that this touch implies approval and acceptance, and the absence of it connotes punishment.

     
  • At 8:41 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    Two Secrets to Attracting Women

    by David DeAngelo


    I often talk about the concept of attraction, and why it's more important than anything else when it comes to being successful with women and dating.

    Well, one of the amazing aspects of attraction is that it can be turned up and down. You can actually amplify an initial attraction... if you know how.

    Of course, if you don't know what you're doing, you can also destroy a woman's attraction to you as well. And, in fact, if you don't know how to amplify attraction, then you're most likely going to destroy it whenever you do create it.

    In this article, I'm going to talk about two of my concepts... one that I've talked about a lot, and one that is relatively new.

    Here they are:

    1) Two Steps Forward, One Step Back.

    2) Never Let the Line Go Slack.


    So let's talk about these concepts and how they relate to creating a powerful emotional state of attraction inside of women.


    Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

    I realized a few years ago that women don't get "turned on" the same way men do (duh). More importantly, I learned that men get turned on like light switches, and women get turned on more like volume knobs.

    A man can go from being not interested in sex (like that ever happens) to completely ready and totally turned on in about 30 seconds. Hell, it's probably more like 3 seconds.

    Women, on the other hand, usually start out with a spark of attraction, and if the situation goes the right way, she gets more and more turned on... to the point where she's ready to have sex.

    One technique you can use to actually amplify any initial attraction that a woman feels is to use the technique that I call "Two steps forward, one step back".

    This simply means progressing a little bit (like maybe kissing her) and then stepping back for a little while (maybe leaning back and holding her hand or not touching at all)... and then moving two steps forward again (maybe kissing her, then kissing her neck)... and so on.

    A powerful ingredient of attraction for women is anticipation.

    Women love to be given a little bit, then teased... so they are waiting in anticipation of what's going to come next. Of course, since you keep taking a step back each time, it even amplifies the anticipation and sexual tension further.


    Never Let the Line Go Slack

    Once you start to "get" how this process of women getting turned on works, you're going to need a way to gauge how fast or slow to go... and to keep a woman interested without turning into a wussy-boy who calls her 10 times a day.

    I call this concept "Never let the line go slack".

    Imagine that you are holding one end of a rope, and the woman is holding the other end. Both of you are pulling gently... enough to keep tension in the line.

    It's a little game.

    If she starts pulling, you need to give her a little bit of slack... but not so much that she gets it all. And if she starts letting go, you need to pull a little more to take up the slack and keep the tension up.

    This is a great metaphor for the concept of sexual tension.

    Most men haven't the slightest idea in the world what sexual tension is. But all women do.

    And that's what we're talking about here.

    So imagine that you're out with a woman for the second time.

    On the first date you kissed and held hands, and on this date you're walking around in the mall together.

    Let's say you've been teasing her a little bit, and she's been hitting you and saying "stop it!", but she's laughing so you know that she's having fun.

    Further, let's say that you've teased her so much that you can tell that it's actually starting to get to her. Maybe you were teasing her about her shoes being ugly, and she stops after the tenth joke and asks "Wow, do you really think my shoes are that ugly?"

    At this point, she's letting go of the line a bit... and you need to do something about it to keep the tension up.

    So you might say "Oh, no... they're not that bad... I'm just giving you a hard time".

    At which point she might say "Wow, good. I was starting to worry that you really hated them and that it was bothering you".

    And now you have the opposite situation... both of you are letting the line go slack at the same time with this whole "No, I think your shoes are fine" and her saying "Oh, I'm glad you were just teasing me" thing.

    So you have to do something!

    You might say "Well, if worse comes to worse you can always donate them to the Salvation Army so a needy girl who doesn't care if her shoes are ugly can have them".

    You'll probably get hit, but it puts the tension back in the line again!

    Of course, there's an art to doing this correctly, and you will improve with practice.

    You can use this in just about every area imaginable, from how often you call a woman to being able to tell when it's appropriate to give a compliment (and then say something to take it back in a funny way!).

    The problem is that most guys let things go too far in one direction... they call every day for a week instead of letting the woman call them back a couple of times, and waiting a couple or a few days to call.

    Or they hang on a woman's arm every minute when they go out together, rather than giving the woman some space and letting her come find him.

    Or they give a woman a compliment, which the woman appreciates, then they start giving her one after the other after the other... which comes across as ultra wussy kiss ass boy... and drives the woman away.

    Don't do too much of anything... and never let the line go slack for too long!

    When you use these two concepts together, you will find that not only will women become far more attracted to you, but they'll stay that way for as long as you want them to.

    If you don't do these two things, then you're probably going to find that women will do things that make no sense to you, and they'll rarely want to be anything more than "just friends", because they just don't "feel it" for you.

    Of course, these are two of literally dozens and dozens of the techniques, theories, and ideas that I have developed for attracting women. All of my materials fit together like a big puzzle, and they support each other... they create a total framework for making yourself successful with women and dating...

     
  • At 8:42 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    Radical Honesty

    by Swinggcat


    Hey guys,

    For the last couple of weeks I have had the pleasure of teaching my step-by-step system for ATTRACTING women to a few select guys. With every one of these guys there was the same thing missing. This one thing, however, is something that every guy who is incredible with women has. Being privy to this one secret can distinguish the magnetic Casanova from the floundering Waldo.

    Before getting into the nitty-gritty of "What this secret is?" I'm going to review some basics.

    As those of you who have read my book know, ATTRACTION is not what a woman prefers. Women prefer model-esque looking men on the wake of manhood, who are lumbered with bank accounts analogous to Bill Gate's, elephant sized penises, and tongues that have the stamina of world class boxers. If this is what attraction was, most of the male population would not be getting laid. The collective male sex drive would be so deprived that the world's petroleum source would be exhausted within the next year.

    ATTRACTION, however, is what you do to a woman's mind and body. The "body" part is creating the emotion inside her of wanting and reaching for more of you. The "mind" part is you defining the underlying meaning of the interaction between the both of you as you being the one who is the PRIZE.

    Often times ATTRACTION starts on the periphery of consciousness. At first the person feeling ATTRACTION towards another is barely even aware of it. Unknowingly, the person begins to reach and want for more of the person they are attracted to.

    A caveat: I am not talking about judging a person as ATTRACTIVE - for example, thinking, "Wow...that girl is really hot!" This is not ATTRACTION. ATTRACTION is when a person - psychically or physically or both - begins to reach and want for more of another person. Some examples of this would be: leaning into another person who is leaning away from you, or trying to impress someone to get their validation.

    Am I saying that you should never be attracted to a woman? No! - that would make you gayer than my flaming gay hairdresser who - "even he!" - is occasionally attracted to women. Being attracted to others is a normal part of our biological hardwiring. Letting a woman, however, become attracted to you first and letting her always be a little bit more attracted to you than you are to her, allows you to be the PRIZE in the interaction. As those of you who have read my book know, always defining the underlying meaning of your interactions with a woman as you being the PRIZE creates a space for her to continuously become more and more ATTRACTED to you.

    Okay, so now for the big secret that distinguishes guys who get more women than rock stars from guys who only have one woman in their life - good old Rosy Palm!

    Do you want to know the secret? If your answer was "yes," that's really gross because it means you're ATTRACTED to me.

    Okay okay already! - I'll tell you the secret so you'll stop being so attracted to me.

    Guys who are really good with women are acutely aware of when a woman creates the emotion in them of wanting and reaching for more of her. Because they are aware of this, they can consciously stop themselves from wanting and reaching for a woman (Remember: if you are not conscious of it, then you do not have the control to stop yourself from doing it).

    Being aware of this, furthermore, opens guys up to noticing what women do to trigger men to feel the emotion of wanting and reaching for more of them. Women are naturally seductive, men are not. Guys who are awesome at attracting women learned how to do this by paying close attention to how women triggered attraction in them, and then started using these very strategies back on women. All of my strategies for generating attraction in women, for example, are based on the strategies women used to trigger me to feel ATTRACTION towards them.

    Most men, however, let their ego and pride cloud them from objectively seeing when a woman is generating attraction in them. Most men have a hard time admitting when they are, for example, acting needy towards a woman or trying to win her approval or letting her disrespect them or only listening to her blab on about something that does not interest them in hopes that she will sleep with them...or whatever.

    Learn to be RADICALLY HONEST with yourself when a woman triggers the emotion in you of wanting and reaching for more of her. This will enable you to develop at a rapid pace and start becoming aware of elements of human psychology that most people are oblivious to. Many of the tools in my book will help you do this. My book is probably the only material that exists next to real life experience that will help you notice when women are triggering you to feel ATTRACTION for them. Come check it out:

    Real World Seduction

    I am going to share another secret with you that will enable you to generate a special form of ATTRACTION with every woman you encounter for the rest of your life.

    A few weeks ago, I saw "Mean Girls," a movie about high school cliques, popularity, and mind games girls play. In the movie one of the girls demonstrates RADICAL HONESTY when she says, "Just because you hate someone doesn't mean you don't want them to like you." These words really hit home for me. If I am really honest with myself, I can think of a few times when there were women I consciously couldn't stand, yet did all sorts of subtle things to try and get them to like me. And trying to get a woman to like you is a manifestation of having the emotion of wanting and reaching for more of her. So, unknowingly, I was actually ATTRACTED to some of these women who consciously repulsed me.

    So what is the lesson to be learned?

    DON'T do things to try and win over women who have personalities that rhyme with witch.

    Furthermore, just because a girl tells you that she can't stand you, doesn't mean that she doesn't want you to like her. And her trying to get you to like her is a manifestation of her wanting and reaching for more of you. Put in other words, she's ATTRACTED to you.

    The interesting thing is this: Most women want you to like them. And because of this, most women, on some level, already are ATTRACTED to you. Most women stop being attracted to a guy because he lets her know too early in the interaction that he likes her. By not being so apt to let her know that you like her, she'll try and get you to like her - she'll reach for and want you to like her. And this, my friends, is a form of ATTRACTION.

    In my book I go into depth on how to recognize when women do things to get us to like them, and how to use this to generate MASSIVE ATTRACTION in women. So, if you are ready to learn these secrets and start having incredible success with women by using my massively field tested step-by-step system for ATTRACTING women, pick up my book today.

    But only do so if you really are ready to start succeeding with women. If you aren't, that's fine. My book, however, is strictly designed for people who are ready to succeed. Don't start reading my book if you're not ready to start living your dream life with women. If, however, you are ready - and I don't care what level you're at! - start using my down to earth system and you will make progress - guaranteed!

     

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