The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Saturday, September 02, 2006

The ego

I went out with Helen yesterday and at the end of the date, she invited me into her house, offered me coffee and munchies and then she went straight into working on her dead landlord's documents saying that she had to do it. Weird. Being a PUA, I stood up and walked. She then said "I might call you tomorrow when I am free." Not sure how I'd feel tomorrow, I said "yeah, ok" But this was dumb, coz it is sort of the "definitely maybe" proposal which Doc Love warned. Well, guess what? she didn't call and I feel shit about it.

The ego is a funny thing. Why does it feel so bad when a girl doesn't follow through with what she said? It hits the ego hard and it hurts. Even when you know its not worth the time, even when you do not have oneitis, even when you have multiple things going on at the same time, even if she isn't someone you are interested in - if a girl isn't showing her affection to you, no matter how crap she is (even a UG1, perhaps!), it hurts your ego. In fact, it probably hurts your ego more if she isn't that good to begin with.

I can't laugh it off sometimes. I don't know why. Am I insecure about myself? Do I need validation? I feel offended, I feel unwanted, unattractive. I feel like the worse being on earth. Why is so much happiness dependent on such tiny little thing? Anyway, I am sucking it all up and swallowing it down. Guess this is the only way to learn.


  • At 5:16 PM, Blogger Jimmy Foxx said…

    Yeah, I know what you are talking about here. Remember that Russian girl who was interested in me? I wasn't all that keen on her, but I tried it out anyway (why do I feel the need to "try anyway, and see what happens"? It's AFC and I have to stop it). Well, as it turns out she had started seeing someone else and gave me the "sorry and good luck" bullshit. I shouldn't have cared, because my interest level was low... right? Well, I did care at the time. I was pissed off at myself for doing it and I got what I deserved. It's like I deliberately put myself through a rejection, just on the off-chance that something might happen with some random chick. Dumb! That is NOT PUA!

    I'm glad you brought up Doc Love's warning about the "definitely maybe" syndrome that women use. I know you didn't have the benefit of hindsight at the time, but looking back on it you can see how Doc Love's handling of the situation works so well. He tells us to simply reply to her with "I tell you what, why don't you give me a call when your schedule isn't so tight [or when your schedule frees up a bit]". An excellent way to deal with those "defiitely maybe" agendas.

    The reason it feels so bad when she doesn't follow through with plans is because you feel as thought you let the rope go too slack - and you realise that the feeling of challenge has been evaporated. You see, we now realise that all that matters is HER interest level, and so when her response isn't reflective of "amplifying attraction of being a challenge", then we not only feel rejection but we also feel that we failed in how we handled it. At times like this I almost feel like apologizing to Doc Love and David D - you can see them looking at you with one of those looks that smacks of "Have you even been listening to what I've been teaching you? Well? I told you this would happen!". This is why we feel bad when that ugly "1 out of 10" chick with a bad personality (the definitive description of a UG1) rejects us. After all, she's unattractive, therefore she should be scampering over broken glass to get to me, right?

    I think this is such a good example how AFC behaviour negatively affects a woman - ANY type of women, whether she be UG1, UG3, average 5/10, a good 7, a HB8 or a 10. They all have one thing in common - they are turned off by AFC behaviour!

    Try to keep it in perspective though. It wasn't THAT bad, and you learned another key lesson. Sweet. It's also great to actually see just how relevant Doc Love's teachings are out in the field.

  • At 8:42 PM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    Yeah, esactly! It feels like you they've totally negated your setup as a challenge! Its like FUCK, she didn't give a shit. YES YES - rejection + failure.

    But yeah, unless you practice and practice, you tend to forget these things, you need the pain to remind you time and time again of the reality.

  • At 8:16 PM, Blogger Jimmy Foxx said…

    Yes, and it happened again to me recently. Some average online chick I had been emailing asked me for more photos of myself. I send them - but get no reply (2 weeks since).

    I'm like "who the fuck do you think you are! How dare YOU reject ME!"

    I also think "As if you're getting anything anyway! You're not that attractive, and you don't seem to have a very interesting personality..."

    I just get so pissed off at myself initially for setting myself up for failure. I should NOT have contacted her in the first place. Again, that's me just "trying it out and seeing what happens". I should be not doing that, especially with average AFC women!

    Besides, I've found that a lot of those women online are substandard and chumpish anyway. I've done the online experiment - and the results were shabby. Gotta go with sarging instead. It's the best, most effective way.

    I have to learn from that lesson.


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